when you point the finger, there's three pointed back at you

This isn’t about you. 

Or about me or how I deserve better. 

It’s not even about him. It’s not about who he was or still might be or who he was married to and why they divorced. 

This isn’t about he’s your brother and how you feel about it and it’ll “take some getting used to.” This isn’t about where he’s been or what his number is or who he’s taken home.

Maybe it is, maybe you’re making it that way but it shouldn’t be.

It should be about one thing, and one thing only and its that he makes me happy. He treats me right and good and well and makes me feel special.

So he smokes a little pot and drinks a little. But he’s never, not once, pressured me to do anything I didn’t want to do.

He’s the one person that came out with me and STAYED on my birthday.

maybe he likes to do the occasional hardcore drug. maybe, just maybe. But who cares as long as it doesn’t change the way he treats me. He’s never hit me or yelled at me or done any of those things.

So I hid it from you for a few days. But now I told you. And now it’s just a problem because you want it be a problem. It’s a problem because you WANT it to be. 

Because you’re dramatic. And because I’m dramatic too, I can’t really say that you’re being dramatic. I can’t tell you that you’re making a big deal out of nothing, because I do it too. 

You’re being selfish. And the way you talked to me was completely across the line. But I’m biting my tongue and keeping my mouth shut, because maybe that’s a good idea. “giving a fuck about my life” is exactly what I was doing by telling you at all. I could’ve just kept seeing him behind your back, because what would you say? What would you do if you found out? Because I didn’t want to lose you again, because you’re my best friend.

But today you’re being selfish. And Nathan makes me happy. And that’s all that should count. Not that he’s your brother. Or that he does this or that. It’s not your place to judge him for it or to judge me for looking past it.

Not to mention the fact that you didn’t even acknowledge how hard it had to have been for me to tell you. The fact that I tried to protect your feelings by trying to find the right time to tell you. By not telling you when you were dealing with Jason things. By not telling you and ruining my birthday weekend/homecoming weekend festivities. By not telling you on the way to dinner with my family. That it took a lot for me to finally tell you after hiding it for a few days.

God, I thought you’d be happy to know that someone who cares about me was the one who made sure I got home okay when that girl left me. I thought you’d at least acknowledge that part, but silly me. Of course you just focused on you and you and you

And you accuse me of being so selfish. And accuse others of being selfish. 

But look in the freaking mirror for once please. You’re just as selfish too.