Cathartic Release

Hey, y'all. It's been a long time since I've written. And it sucks to come back to you like this, but it is what it is. I'm taking a cognitive psychology class this semester and last week we talked about the effects of writing and how it can serve as like a release of emotions. Additionally, in an experiment, those who wrote an essay about a negative emotional event had better short term memory, and better grades a semester later than those who didn't.
So, here I am trying to get my release.

For the past few weeks, I've been dealing with roommate problems. Let's just call her Lucy. Lucy's accused me of running my mouth, not cleaning when I need to, and now, most recently, accused me of stealing.
First, I'll address the running of my mouth. The first accusation occurred when an acquaintance, call her Megan, texted me about her boyfriend who happens to be Lucy's ex boyfriend. Well, previous to receiving this text, Lucy and I had talked about this boy because he had been at a party and had approached Lucy. Following the party, he, according to Lucy, went home with another girl and got left by his teammates, so he called Lucy to ask if she could give him a ride so that he wouldn't miss practice, putting him in jeopardy of losing his scholarships. Lucy obliged. Whenever she got back,  she informed of their rough history, and although they're fine now, they're not in any sort of regular contact. So anyway, a few days later, Megan asked me whether I had seen him at said party and if he had been with any girls. I politely answered that yes he had been at the party, but I needed to ask someone about him being w/girls. Therefore, I asked Lucy if she had heard from this girl. Lucy had indeed heard from Megan, and neither one had been very nice about it. Texting Megan back, I simply told her she needed to talk to Lucy about it. I didn't say anything to this chick about Lucy giving him a ride or about their history, just that she needed to talk to Lucy, because I knew it wasn't my place. Much to my surprise, however, Lucy takes it as me getting in her business and proceeds to accuse me of running my mouth. It took several days to convince her that I had not, in fact, said anything about their relationship to Megan other than to talk to her. So I thought we had squashed the shit. Apparently not. (But I'll get to that later)
Several weeks later, I was accused of having a big mouth because I told our mutual friend, call her Beth, that Lucy went on a date with another mutual friend of ours. I didn't think anything of it because it was two mutual friends. The guy is a player: He's made his rounds between the three of us: me, Beth, then finally Lucy, so I just thought it was funny. I didn't think it was a big deal, but apparently, I thought wrong. She was mad and said that I had been telling "people" her business. I denied this, saying I told a single person because i thought it was funny. Then apologized. She was salty for a few days then we were fine again. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, Lucy found out that I name-dropped about someone she had slept with, to Beth, which, I'll admit: okay, I was out of line. But, like I explained to her, it happened before the first time I "ran my mouth" to Beth, so it was in the past, and this is the future. I again said I was sorry and I was being better about it. This was when she, again, brought up the thing with Megan and her ex-boyfriend. I was thinking, like, wtf are you talking about, i told you when that happened that I didn't say anything about your business to this girl, and I thought we squashed it so how is that of relevance? But whatever. We moved past all that. We were back to being what I guess you could call friends.
Secondly, When she accused me of running my mouth with Beth, I was also accused of not cleaning when I need to. She said that she was doing all the chores and I wasn't doing any. That I never cleaned the kitchen or vacuumed the living room or cleaned the bathroom. So first of all, I'm thinking Why in the hell do I need to vacuum a room that we never use? The kitchen and bathroom is tile, the only carpet is in the living room and small section of hallway. But there's not a t.v. in the living room, so i'm never in there and she's rarely in there, so why does it need vacuuming? Second of all, I have cleaned the dishes and/or loaded the dishwasher, I guess just not in her time frame of when things need to be done. In response, I said that she could politely remind me when something needed to be done and I'd do it. She came back with "Every time I ask you, you say you don't do that" to which I replied, "You've only ever asked about the bathroom, which I don't do because it grosses me out." The conversation went on, but eventually came down to making a chore chart and switching off duties. So when it was my turn, I cleaned the bathroom. Afterwards, jokingly, I texted her "I cleaned the bathroom. You should be proud!" She says "That's something that should be done biweekly by us." I replied "Well then it was right on time, was it not?" To which she didn't even reply. Oh. Okay. That's really grown up and mature. Cool. I might suck as a roommate, but she doesn't have to act like a child about it all. But, like I said, we moved past it all and resumed being "friends"
Thirdly, now, Lucy has accused me of stealing a mascara. At which point, I'm thinking This girl is literally psychotic. She is crazy. So let me start at the very beginning. First, let me state that I am a mascara junkie. I've tried a large amount of most drugstore mascaras. Maybelline, Revlon, if you can find it at walmart, I've probably tried it. So, a week or so ago, I saw a teal tube of mascara laying on her dresser while I was talking to her. I had bought a couple of these tubes a while back and hadn't been able to find them. I harmlessly, calmly, carelessly, asked her if it was mine, because I couldn't find mine. She said, no, it was her friend Rachel's. I believed her, of course, thought nothing else about it, and went on with my life. Then, Friday night, I was going to the movies with my boyfriend and was changing purses and found one of the tubes that I had been looking for. So imagine my surprise when Saturday morning I wake up to two texts from Lucy accusing me of going in her room, while she wasn't home, without her permission, and taking the mascara off her dresser. In my semi-sleeping state, I assumed that she had seen mine on my vanity and assumed it was that one. So naturally, I replied that no i didn't take it, I had found mine, I didn't go in her room. At which point she proceeds to tell me that I'm lying, that things don't just disappear and I must have done it. We have argued and argued and argued about it. I'm just sitting here, shocked. It couldn't have fallen off in a drawer or gotten kicked in the closet or under the bed or any of those options? Additionally, come to find out, when I asked about my missing mascara, she claims she had known it was under the bath rug by my sink the whole time. When I asked her why she didn't just tell me that, she responded by saying it's not her job to pick up after me. I'm thinking When did I ask you to pick up after me? All you had to do was say 'hey its under your rug' Like, literally, what the fuck? What the actual fuck? Now she claims that I owe her food and money from like the first week of school and I'm just like "Hm....No."
So Now, let me say why I didn't do this. While I'm doing this, I'll explain why this girl is crazy. 1)I will admit that I used to shoplift. And she knows this, so she's holding it against me. However, shoplifting is stealing from stores without paying. I'm not about to steal from friends though. Being a petty thief is something that I would never do. I wouldn't steal from her or really any individual person. 2)I am a mascara junkie. I have about a dozen other mascaras that I use, so why would I need to steal this one teal tube of mascara? If I was really concerned about it, I would have pressed the issue when I first brought it up, insisting it must be mine, but I didn't. I obviously couldn't have cared less about this mascara. I have a whole makeup bag full of just mascara to the point where it doesn't even zip, so why would I need this one teal tube? This is crazy reason exhibit A. Lucy is pulling this stuff out of her butt. 3)I am a total germaphobe when it comes to sharing makeup. In case you didn't know, everyone in the world has eyelash mites. Mites, okay? Mites! They are the first and foremost reason I do NOT share mascara. So if Lucy had told me it was Rachel's and I said I believed her, why would I steal someone else's mascara? Just no. This is exhibit B. 4)If I was a petty thief, which I'm not, I could have stolen a lot of shit from her room. She (used to) leave her door wide open all the time. I've seen cash, medicine, gift cards, credit cards, and other valuable things, which I could have stolen if I wanted to. But I didn't. I decided I didn't want $10 cash or $20 gift cards, but a single used tube of $6 mascara. Like, what??? Exhibit C.  5)Lastly, I don't ever go into her room without her permission. She has had MY nail polish and various items of MY clothing in her room, but I always asked her if I could go in there and get it. She always ended up bringing it out to me, but the point is that I always asked. So... I decided to go in her room, without her permission, for the first time, for a singular tube of mascara that I believed to be Rachel's? Never mind that I left other belongings of mine in there, I was just after this mascara. Exhibit D.
Now while Lucy and I are arguing over me lying and spinning my web of lies, she says that she's going to take it to our Hall Director, we'll just call her HD. I'm like, okay, that's fine, I'll go talk to her myself. Well, when I go down to talk to HD, HD says we should set up a meeting, then we can talk about me moving out. So I text Lucy to tell her, like, hey, go talk to HD and find a time we can have a meeting. Lucy responds by telling me she has her one-on-ones with HD and doesn't need me. I told her again to find a time to have a meeting. She then says that meetings are for fixing things and we have nothing to fix. I'm thinking Wait, what??? This was your idea! You said you'd take it to HD but now that I beat you to it, you don't want to take it to her?? HUH?! Exhibit E.
So, overall, this girl is just trying to find reasons to be mad at me. I don't want to live there anymore. I put in for a room transfer, and hopefully I'll get it, but I'm just so tired of this crazy girl. She's a bitch and a bully. I'm trying to stay grounded and firm and not let her walk all over me. I'm so tired of apologizing for shit that other people would never care about. I'm just done. I'm not going to take this shit anymore. I just won't. It doesn't even make any sense. My conscious is clean. I didn't steal from her, so I'm really not concerned about whether she believes me or not. But, for her to call me a liar and be so cold and hostile towards me is just way past the line. In addition, her harboring anger towards me is like holding a hot coal: It doesn't hurt anyone but herself. So I'm trying not to worry about her. Just letting go and letting God.
So, there is my cathartic release.
Bye for now, y'all.
Love always